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  >  Personal Development   >  I Don’t Want To Get Married
I don’t want to get married…
And I don’t want to have kids.
I told my wife this on our first date.
And you notice I just said…
My wife…lol
So what changed between date #1 and when I proposed to her?
A lot…
And it had nothing to do with her…
And everything to do with me.
As a young man you could say…
I wasn’t very good when it came to the ladies.
In fact…
Until the age of 28 I only had two girlfriends.
Both of which were in high school.
I spent 10 years single and never went on a date.
I told myself I didn’t have time for a girlfriend.
I told myself I couldn’t afford a girlfriend.
I told myself work was the most important thing.
And at that time for me…
I really believe it was.
And to some extent it is still a very large part of what fulfills me.
But work is not fulfilling for me without my wife.
Travel isn’t as fulfilling without my wife.
Dinners aren’t as fulfilling without my wife.
Day to day life isn’t as fulfilling without my wife.
I remember the day it all shifted for me.
And that was the day I let it in.
What did I let in?
I let her love in.
She is this amazing human being that just wanted to care and love me…
And I had this thick exterior and wasn’t letting anything in.
I wasn’t letting anything in because I didn’t want to get side tracked on my focus of…
Traveling the world.
Making money.
And helping people.
I remember everyone from my college professor to my mom were telling me I needed a girlfriend.
And I wanted nothing to do with it.
Then I hired a personal development coach that kept asking me..
“What do you want”.
And in one of our coaching calls I literally said the following…
“I want a woman that wants to be with me but doesn’t need to be with me. Someone who can travel the world with me. Someone who loves what I do. Someone we can grow our businesses and our lives together.”
And she wrote it down and then asked…
What are you going to do to create that?
I had no idea…
But the adventure started then 🙂
Up until this time I was not able to be myself around woman because I thought they wanted something I was not.
I didn’t want the traditional marriage with the typical job and the typical life.
I wanted to travel the world and have EPIC adventures.
And I thought that was off putting so I didn’t share it.
And then one day I had enough courage to actually share what I wanted.
I was filling out an online dating profile.
It asked me about who I was and who I was looking for so I was honest.
That was a very deep question…
Who are you?
And…
What are you looking for?
I remember spending lots of time thinking about this.
And then one day I was in Puerto Rico and I saw my wife’s photo on a dating app and I reached out.
I asked her some crazy question that most people wouldn’t take the time to reply to…
But she did.
I asked her…
What do you want out of life?
She responded with something lovely and that started everything.
The thick exterior that protected me from “love” started to weaken.
I didn’t know it at the time but I can see it looking back.
I was so excited for our first date.
I went and bought a sun flower for her…
I got a haircut…
And a nice outfit…
Because I was told that is what you do on a date…
I was literally clueless…
But I tried 🙂
And she noticed and loved it.
As the days and years progressed the thick exterior I had started to slowly fall off…
Although it took plenty of coaching for that to happen.
I remember one day my coach literally said…
“Get cleaned up, buy flowers, book the nicest restaurant you can find and take her on a date”.
That was our entire coaching call…lol
So I did…
And it was great.
I kept letting her love in.
I kept letting her be her.
And she kept letting me be me.
Together we grew into something that was more amazing than either of us could be by ourselves.
And it was all because I let her love in.
It takes courage to do that.
It also takes courage to be yourself.
And tell people what you want.
Which is why its important to surround yourself with people who listen and support you in getting what you want.
This holiday season I want you to keep asking…
“What do I want?”
Get as detailed as you can because if your mind can conceive of it and your heart can believe it…
You can achieve it!
Here is to you having in all this holiday season.
And if you want to join me and my wife in creating our next year join us on Dec 28th.
Cheers to your next adventure!

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