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  >  Personal Development   >  You Can’t Hate And Understand
You can’t hate and understand someone at the same time…
Because if you understood them you couldn’t hate them.
You would understand why they are doing what they are doing.
You would see their point of view.
You would have compassion for what they have gone through to make them do what they are doing.
And…
That doesn’t always justify their actions.
And…
That doesn’t mean we have to tolerate their actions…
But it helps us understand them to help figure out a resolution.
I have personally found that the biggest thing we can do to resolve a conflict is to listen.
Listen to what they are saying without inserting your personal opinions.
Listen to understand not to respond.
Listen to what they are saying beyond words.
Listen so you can make the person communicating feel heard…
Because if they don’t feel heard one of two things will happen.
They will get louder and louder until someone listens to them…
Or…
They will silence themselves and live a disempowered life.
I have personally experienced both.
There are instances when I am not being heard and I get louder and louder.
And others where I say something like “why am I wasting my time as it will never change”.
When we silence someone, we take away something special from people.
When we interrupt and talk over each other we are not listening or having a conversation…
We are fighting to be right and making the other person wrong.
And we all know where that leads to.
If you want to have a better quality of life,…
Consider learning how to listen better.
Take all those thoughts you have going through your head and put them aside.
Listen to the words they are saying.
Then listen even deeper to hear their commitment.
And finally, the most powerful part of listening which is…
Recreating them.
Share with them what you heard in a way that they know you listened because…
Most people can’t fully articulate what they are feeling so if you can help them articulate what they want to say they will feel understood at a level most people have never experienced.
And that will change everything for everyone involved in the conversation.
And we want you to know…
We hear you and we understand what you are going through…
And we send you all our love.
Cheers to another amazing day!

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